Slipped Away
by Shyma Tavrott Lupin
Summary: How can you go so far away from me Ian?Didn't you once think about how it would affect me? But then again I guess it really wasn't your choice was it?Non-Slash Songfic Slipped Away-Avril Lavigne


**A one-shot song-fic that I found while digging around my documents the other day. It's a piece I wrote last father's day when my own uncle passed away(yeh, he passed away on father's day. Terrible eh?) So here it is, Enjoy.**

**I miss you**

I really...really do.

**Miss you so bad  
**

Sometimes, I miss you so much that it hurts. It actually physically hurts.

**I don't forget you  
**

I remember you every second of the day. Everytime I shoot a man, and every time I make a narrow escape. You're the first person I think of.

**Oh it's so sad.**

It leaves me so down and depressed.

**I hope you can hear me  
**

I hope you hear the words I scream into the night sky.

**I remember it clearly.**

I remember the piercing sounds of the sirens outside our house.

**The day you slipped away.....  
**

The day that I lost you was a tragic day. It was the day my entire world was turned upside down, inside out and hell it was shot a couple of times too.

**Was the day i found it won't be the same  
**

It was the day that changed everything. It turned me into the person I am today. A stoic almost emotionaless person. And I realize today...tha I ended up very much like you

**I didn't get around to kiss you, goodbye on the hand  
**

Sometimes I wish that I had gotten the chance to say goodbye. There is so much I would have liked to tell you Ian. Like how I died a little bit inside everytime you left me. Or how I loved you more than anyone else in the world, because as much as it didn't seem like it, you were the only one I could really be mysef around. The only one I could be a Rider around. It would have been nice to tell all that to you myself even though I'm pretty sure you already knew. What hurt the most was that I never knew all those things on your mind.

**I wish that I could see you again  
**

You don't know how badly I want to see you. I mean sometimes I want to hear your voice or see that almost undetectable smile on your face so badly it feels like I'm going to die if I don't any time soon. I remember they only let me see your body neck up. Because as I later found out, you were shot twice in the shoulder and twice in the chest. They couldn't have let me see that now could they? But they did let me see you face. You looked so peaceful despite the fact that you were empty inside. You didn't have that emotionless mask on your face. For the first time you looked like every other human in the world. Did you really feel as peaceful as you looked?

**I know that I can't  
**

But everytime I'm hit with the urge to see your peaceful face again, I'm hit twice as hard with the cold truth that I can't.

**I hope you can hear me  
**

Do you hear me as I scream all these emotions out into the night sky?

**Cause I remember it clearly**

Like it was just yesterday, I remember the sheer panic that filled me up even before I opened the door for those policemen. Even before they told me you were gone, I somehow knew it. And that had to be the worst part.

**The day you slipped away...  
**

I remember standing at your funeral, trying not to cry....to be strong for Jack**.**

**Was the day i found it, won't be the same**

I remember seeing those guys taking all your things away from the house. And it made me so mad. It made me so angry that they would even think of touching your stuff. That they would dare try to take away what little I had left of you. And then they draged me down to the "bank" and showed me who you really were. That was what really got through to me. That was real proof that you really were dead. It was a real blow.

**I've had my wake up**

But I've finally had my wake up call Ian. I've been punched in the face hard enough to realize that life's like this. People come and go just like that. Completely normal.

**Won't you wake up  
**

Then why is it that I still miss you?

**I keep asking why.  
**

Why is it that I still look at your pictures and ask you why you left me like this. Why you died so soon.

**And I can't take it  
**

It just hurts me so much that you're gone forever. That you'll never be back. It's just so hard to believe you're actually gone. Sometimes I walk into the house and expect you to be sitting at the kitchen table with a newspaper, reading it like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Of course you're not. You never will be....ever again.

**It wasn't fake it  
**

Because this isn't like the many times I've convinced SCORPIA that I'm dead by acting it out and making it look like I was shot. Not even close. You were for real. You really were shot. You really did die.

**It happened you passed by**

And it just happened so fast. I mean I talked to you five minutes before you where shot! One second I had an uncle....and then five minutes later...I was all alone.

**Now you're gone, Now you're gone  
**

And now you're so far away from me. So far that it hurts.

**There you go, There you go  
**

You left....just like that. You were gone so far away.

**Somewhere I can't bring you back  
**

You went so far away that even the skills I've attained over my 10 year career as an MI6 agent can't bring you back.

**Now you're gone, Now you're gone  
**

You're that far. How could you go that far?

**There you go, There you go  
**

I guess it really wasn't even your choice...was it?

**Somewhere you're not coming back  
**

And I guess it's not really your choice either, whether you want to stay or leave....

**The day you slipped away.....  
**

But the day you did leave....it was the day that change me forever.

**Was the day i found  
**

It really was the reason I am the man I ended up as today. And I guess I can thank you a bit and hate you a bit for that.

**It, won't be the same**

Thank you, because the next time some SCORPIA even mentions the name Ian Rider with a bad intention, I can defend myself and beat the evil out of him in full confidence. Hate you, because now I can easily kill a man without feeling a thing. But then again you are my uncle, I'm supposed to love you just as much as I have rows with you.

Because you were family. My only family. The only man I can ever even begin to relate to. The only man that I can proudly say I am the nephew of.

**I miss you.**

But above all you were the one that watched after me for all those years. The one that dealt with my stubborn teenage personality, and handled it all in a calm manner. You never yelled at me, and you never even thought about hitting me like Tom's parents' did. You lovec and cared for me like all Rider men do(discretely but strongly.)

And there is nothing I miss more.

**There you go. Hope it was worth the read and please **

**Review!**


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